‘ We’re all going on a Summer holiday
No more working for a week or two
Fun and laughter on a summer holiday” Cliff Richard.
Christmas and summer is the time to get away from the hustle and bustle of Bondi and Sydney. If you are a cashed up Merchant Banker or a flash Property Developer, then it’s a skiing holiday with the family in Aspen, Colorado. Hugo and Phoebe are home from boarding school so it’s off on QANTAS ( business class of course ) to LA and the staying in a mate’s lodge in the snow. If you become bored with the deep powder snow, how about a little side trip to Vegas, to catch a show and have a small flutter on the tables?
Just say you’re not in that league but you do have a few bucks, the how about
Bali? You could take Kylie and the kids and the surfboards on a cheap Jetstar flight to Denpasar (economy class of course) plus a nine day package in a luxurious two star hotel at Kuta. Once you and the family have recovered from a nasty bout of Bali belly you can hit the beach and surf in the murky sea. In the evenings you can sample the typical Balinese cuisine like Pizza and Swedish meatballs. A note of warning, every hotel has a couple of pools for guests. Do not bathe in a pool that boasts a bar where the Aussie tourists can drink without getting out of the pool. It is not uncommon to watch drinkers spend all day in the pool at the bar drinking buckets of Bintang and not a single trip to the bathroom. After a wonderful holiday you head for the airport with the kids’ hair braided and your new tattoo. Your bags will be packed with cheap board shorts and T-Shirts. All these plus a heap of pirate CD/DVDs that you will sneak through Sydney customs.
If Bali is a bit too pricey and you’re short of a few bucks after Christmas why not a camping holiday? Pick up one of those cheap tents that K Mart advertised and hit the highway with the kids in the Toyota. First stop is always “Maccas” at 7am. You’ll find the Golden Arches as packed with fat people stuffing themselves with burgers as filling the bathrooms. Now back on the highway do not stop at any of those environmentally. friendly compost dunnies much loved by National Parks. They are unspeakable. Pee behind a bush if you need to.
Eventually, you arrive at the “Paradise Point” camping grounds and locate your site. You may find yourself squeezed between a family from Dubbo, real camping pros and a tent full of bogans from Sydney. The Dubbo people have a huge tent with carpet on the floor plus a fridge and satellite TV. The bogans like to start their pre-dinner drinks at about 10am sitting on folding chairs with huge eskies chockas with VB. If you can’t survive the mozzies and the bogans well there is a bowling club down the road.
If you’re real short of a few bucks there is a great holiday spot with surf that goes off in the summer northerlies when every other beach is rubbish. It has friendly locals and clean dunnies. Yes folks you’ve got it, it’s Bondi Beach.
Currently enjoying an idyllic holiday at Byron Bay except that we can’t go out in the backyard as there is a 2 metre Python curled up quietly digesting a rabbit or something.